Contest: Craziest Axiom Story

Amy eats dog food Amy eating dog food, 1991

What were you guys really up to at the Axiom? We want to know! Please share your craziest story about something that you did or witnessed at the Axiom in the comments section below. The best story will be chosen by J.R., Julie, Rebekah, and Mark on Mon., October 1st.

Contest winner will receive two weekend passes to the Axiom Reunion, a set of complimentary drink tickets, and an Axiom Reunion T-shirt. The winner will also be invited to tell their story on stage at the event. Bring it on!

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45 Responses to “Contest: Craziest Axiom Story”

  1. damon Says:

    Alex Gonzolez.

  2. Heather Fails Says:

    GBH was playing, I got hit by a car going about 45 miles per hr. in the middle of White Oak and McKinney as I was walking across the street. I had gotten in a fight and the douches driving the car thought I was a nazi skin. I came back to the Axiom for my first time after that on a walker.

    Cheers!

    Heather Fails

  3. charlotte Says:

    JR

    What about the time after hours, when Dave Burton tried to save the old lady next door and got his throat slashed. Then he chased down the guy and shot him in the ass. After that when the cops came they told Dave he could finish him off, but he didn’t. That was a strange night.

  4. GREG MAIN Says:

    When Joe and I were deemed the night watchmen at the Axiom for some reason, when the crack zombies walked the streets like thriller for real! We learned a few things that first week about survival.
    We learned we would have to tie the loaf of bread we used to make peanut butter sandwiches to an apparatus that J.R. would suspend himself upside down from, just to keep the rats from making their own sandwiches…
    We learned a casual gunshot to the stop sign from a window would scatter any group of would-be zombies gathering to maybe infiltrate the complex…
    We learned that it was a bus, not pure evil that shook the building at 5 am every weekday…
    We learned it was better to not even try to go to sleep…
    We learned that a Joe mixtape made from his record collection could contain anything from the Buttholes to Bob Seger and he was good with that…
    We learned that the green fungus on the wall in the shower made it the absolute last resort, fine for Gwar, but we had to draw the line somewhere. this shower made you feel dirtier after using it! Somehow a water hose while standing on a pallet over a hole in the corner of the maggot colony(Francisco’s studios) 2nd floor was ten times better. Their were not any walls to grow fungus on, just empty space… That’s a different story…
    And finally, we learned that none of it would have happened if Joe wouldn’t have gone home with hamburger on his breath… starting the fight with his girlfriend, which caused him to convince me that if we were going to make this band successful, we would have to sacrifice the comforts of living in a normal environment. Thus becoming homeless enough to move into the maggot colony and become night watchmen at the axiom…

  5. Tom Turmoil Says:

    Holy shit this is fun! HA HA !The night I step in the whole in the bleachers split my chin on the fan in the corner while on acid and had Bliss Blood help me stop the bleeding. I also brought a drinking buddy down one night ( on acid) who got into a hassle with the doorman and the doorman popped him in the head with the flashlight and this guy ran off into the night kinda spasstically down Mckinney.

  6. axiom20th Says:

    I remember when Joe was living at Francisco studios he went into a long spiel to me about how he could live in any kind of filth as long as his toothbrush was clean. That’s where he drew the line! He had bought one of those little caps you put over the bristles to keep them from getting germy. It was one small, noble gesture against a sea of contamination.

    -Julie

  7. GREG MAIN Says:

    joe and i would brush our teeth sometimes while standing out front of francisco’s on mckinney watching the normal people hustle by… in our boxers… at four in the afternoon…

  8. Skater Dave Says:

    I remember the night that the show was shut down by the “Fire Marshall” and everyone went ballistic. The next thing I saw was a full blown riot in the streets. I remember seeing a beer bottle fly right past my face and hit a police car right in the windsheild. It was so “PUNK ROCK” right out of a movie.

    Dave

  9. Joseph Moreno Says:

    I remember when Chuck quit Cinco Dudes, the band went up on stage with a clothing store dummy with the name tag “CHUCK” strapped with a guitar. The band was obviously drunk, played “Louie, Louie” for 45 minutes and left. There were some sexy dancers on stage from what I remember.

  10. Joseph Moreno Says:

    I remember when NOFX was in town. They showed up in a white van. They were hungry and asked for directions to a fast food joint. They got lost and almost didn’t make it back in time to play. I think I paid $5 for 5 bands that night. This was the same weekend MOD played there and we decorated the MOD bus with NOFX stickers. It was was a fun filled weekend.

  11. Ifeoma Okoye Says:

    One night when Al Jourgensen was in town (one night of many as he was often a guest of Kathy Kowgirl’s) he and his “entourage” graced the Axiom once again with their presence. Fun was being had by all when apparently Al upset two of the ladies in his group who proceeded to throw a beer bottle at him with all the force behind it their skinny little bodies could muster. Mr. Jourgensen ducked (good for him), and the bottle proceeded to smash in my face. I very calmly went to approach them to ask why they would do such a thing when a friend came up, touched my arm and said with a horrified look on her face… “ohhhh ifeoma…” That’s when I realized there was a study stream of really warm blood flowing down my face and neck, and falling all over the place. The two lovely ladies responsible for this unfortunate affair ran up to me apologizing all over themselves. My friend took me to the bathroom while the lovely ladies begged for mercy. I don’t know why, but people always thought I was gonna kick their asses — it must be a black thing. Let there be no mistakin’, I will kick ass if I have to. My friend thought I needed to go to the hospital. All I remember is that my face was numb, there was blood everywhere, and I wanted the skinny bitches to tell me why they did it! Then, the very handsome and charming Alejandro Escevedo came up and offered to take me to the hospital. I declined, but he walked me to the car to make sure I was alright to drive. When shit happened, even though I didn’t have any insurance at the time, I always went to Hermann. They put a big-ass bandaid on my face and sent me home. I was told I looked cool with the big-ass bandaid splayed across my face, along with my big-ass glasses — like a pirate or something. Now whenever someone looks at the scar on my face, one of many all over my body (too much information, huh — sorry), one of the first things they say is, “you should’ve gotten stitches.” No insurance, no stitches. Everytime I look in the mirror I am reminded of that night at the Axiom; and despite the fact that I became scarred for life there, that memory like so many others brings a smile to my face.

  12. Ifeoma Says:

    Another thing, I was very fond of the resident skinheads at the Axiom. Depending on what type of skinheads they were at the time, their behavior towards me acted accordingly. But I think sometimes they were really confused. I mean one minute I’m hanging out with a bunch of skinheads gettin’ high, and the next minute they’re calling me the N-word. I would just shake my head and call out, “good night “so-and-so, I’ll talk to you later.” To which they would respond, “good night ifeoma.” Go figure.

    The “so-and-so’s” shall remain nameless
    so as to protect the innocent, I mean goofballs, and their offspring.

    I loved the Axiom. It was my favourite place to play; in-keeping with the spirit of Cabaret Voltaire and the Island, how could you not have nothin’ but love for the place. Good on-ya JR; cannot wait to see you, it’s been a while. Thanks to you and Julie, and Rebekah, and everyone else involved for helping to put this thing together. Who needs a high school reunion, when you have the Axiom’s 20th Anniversary, huh!

    And a special thanks to Fitzgeralds…
    It appears chivalry in the club-dom is not dead.

  13. staci davis Says:

    I got popped in the face once by one of those skinheads. He was slamdancing (in a circular fashion) and he sort of half drunkenly fell all over me, the casual observer watching from outside the circle. I gave him a little shove back towards the dance area as was the custom, and he turned around and hit me square in the face. I was shocked, in all my years of hanging out in punk clubs no one had ever hit me, and it hurt like hell. I went crying to JR (or he found me bawling upstairs) and when he found out what happened he immediately had the bouncers throw the guy out and ban him for life. (Thanks for that validation JR)

    I later found out that the guy hung himself in jail. Geesh this guy must have been one unhappy fella to go around hittin’ girls and hatin’ jews and tieing nooses in jail. Kind of makes me feel good to be me.

  14. staci davis Says:

    Of course I also remember a few days after getting shut down when the fire marshall came to visit. I was working at the Axiom and even though we weren’t open I went to work just for fun. The fire marshall showed up and was talking to JR and Rebekah. I was making sure to do little cleaning jobs and errands within earshot of whatever was being said. The fire marshall told JR that he didn’t have enough bathrooms and exits to handle X number of people and that if there was a fire yada yada, no one would be safe yada yada, but that if JR were to hire an off-duty police officer to stay on the premices during shows that the fire marshall would feel better and let him open the doors.

    Now I’m not sure how one or two off-duty cops are going to control 300 punk rockers escaping a fire but JR called the station and they sent us a cop or two and we were open very shortly afterwards.

    What really sucked was one of the cops that they sent us. His name was Alex Gonzales and he was famous at the time for just having shot and an unarmed elderly black woman for cutting him and his drunken off-duty un-uniformed police buddies off in traffic. Her name was Ida Delany. Alex Gonzales was later sentanced to seven years for his crime but who knows if he actually served any time.

    Ah good times.

  15. Ifeoma Says:

    Good times indeed!

  16. charlotte Says:

    The NOFX & MOD show was not an Axiom show, but a Cabaret Voltaire show. I remember because there was no alcohol served, except for what everyone brought on their own. But I do remember those stickers. I still have them.

  17. susan Says:

    Hi Ifeoma. See you on Friday. I miss our adventures , “Blues Night” jam sessions, playing with knives (when that guy from Tragic Mullato jumped up, hit his head, passed out, and show over), Mad Dog, and wandering thru empty train stations. And, I think back to a night we missed Yo La Tengo and everyone thought we were lame.

  18. damon Says:

    slow night, the bad samartans were playing, and the t.a.b.c. showed up. they came by after they heard we were running a brothel upstairs. we all had to put our hands up while the band was playing and the accountants with sidearms (your texas tax dollars at work) searched the place. joe (homesly) went into the song “publicly intoxicated” the tabc guys came up on stage,but joey kept on playin’. he changed one of the lines to “let me guess, i got beat up by a fucking cop!”…turns out the axiom WAS a brothel… in the fifties. once again,the t.a.b.c. proves its relevancy. HEY IFEOMA! i hate madona damnit.

  19. GREG MAIN Says:

    When the mentors played, i got the job of trying to keep El Duce out of trouble! i took some acid and we got drunk, EL DUCE DRUNK.. i can only remember he had some kick ass golf pants on after that. and that he also made some real funny faces with no teeth. everything else is fuzzy.. it still is a little fuzzy..

  20. Noska Says:

    Can someone help me confirm this story i heard?
    Joe Claytor was so psyched to meet Danzig when he played, that he brought his bootleg Misfits album out to be signed by him. Glen Danzig’s contract with the club required a barrier around the stage, which took two days to build. After it was built, Joe took the album up to the band room to get it signed. Danzig smashed it, telling Joe to get the fuck out. Did this really happen?

  21. GREG MAIN Says:

    i seem to remember joe telling the story that he wouldn’t sign them… if he had told joe to get the fuck-out, im sure there would be another “danzig gets knocked the fuck out” video on youtube. joe wouldnt have mentioned it if he had said that, but i know he didnt take shit from anybody. he might have taken it from glenn though, i probably would have. they were all lifting weights and shit before the show. it was before academy black though, the black basically met at that show.. dec.26th my mommas berfday!!

    i will ask lila, she might know..

  22. Joseph Moreno Says:

    Charlotte, NOFX and MOD was at the Axiom. Here’s the flyer for the NOFX show. http://www.gigposters.com/poster/19752_Dresden45.html

    I’ve never been to the place you mentioned. They may have played there, but it doesn’t mean they didn’t play @ the Axiom. Go look at the list of touring bands and see for yourself.

  23. charlotte Says:

    Sorry Joe, my mistake. That was a long time ago. Maybe all the alcohol back then made things a little fuzzy.

  24. hillbilly mike Says:

    i remember this kikk-ass show at the AXioM where i won tickets to see MOTORHEAD and a band i heard of called the CRO-MAGS. it was the COOLEST! there were skins moonstompin on cars in the parkinglot cuz the Cromags were a no show. motor head slayed as always. i learned to dance with shawn riley and mark of sik mentality, some jerk threw a beer and hit lemmy in the face with it during ORGASMATRON, and he stopped the show threatening to kill whomever did it ,out back after the show!! OH WAIT ! damn, that was DAMON BLACK throwin that booze and it was at CARDIS ! SHEEEEEE-OOOOOTTTTT! thats my favorite TEXAS rockinroll small world moment………i new i wanted to be JUSTINs
    roadie from that moment on……
    i dont remember the axiom, i was too drunk trying to keep up with my beer swillin bandmates.
    hillbilly mike P

  25. Ifeoma Says:

    Hey Susan, we were too cool for school!
    Cannot wait to see you too.
    So fuckin’ awesome to hear from my muse!
    We did have some crazy ass fun together.
    All of us did, and we lived to tell about it…
    Some of us continue to live it [yo].
    Missed you so much!
    DAMON — I can’t believe you remember that song!
    It’s not so much Madonna anymore is it?
    Naw man… it’s Britney Bitch!
    I swear I’m gonna pass out from seein’ everybody!

  26. Dina Lou Says:

    Memories…smile….to echo some of the stories about the skinheads, which I do admit to have a crush on one of those suckers. But anyway, I was organizing and producing a benefit for the Sharpstown High Peace Club…of course…approved by JR. BTW, very kind of you, JR. Bands like Third Person, Twisting the Farm and The Shaft would be playing live. Before nightfall, I was called outside and approached by the skinhead leader for a “chat”. One of the members, walked around me (a sweet, innocent girl -nonetheless) with a board full of nails. Some of the others waved their flag around the streets. They made it seem like a big ta-do and it was very hard to swallow. But we negotiated about peace and war, and they LET the show go on. I realize the peace-sters may have been on their turf like a Greasers vs. Soc’s kinda thing. But, we really had no agenda. It was definately an awakening. Random acts of kindness prevailed.

  27. Heather Fails Says:

    So who won?

  28. Tom Turmoil Says:

    Congratulations Greg. I know there are some shy people who will only tell there craziesest Axiom story to close mouthed friends. Im suprised there are no bathroom sex stories. I did like the one about the cops saying ” finish him off” See ya at the 20th.

  29. GREG MAIN Says:

    thanks tom! i know there are some REAL crazy stories out there. im lucky people are shy!

    i also feel extremly lucky to have a few viable memories at all from that period of time…

    speaking of bathroom sex stories, i remember hearing the cop alex gonzales’ utility belt hit the floor after entering the bathroom with a guest clear as day, clunk!

  30. Tom Turmoil Says:

    Oh this is gonna be fun!

  31. Joseph Moreno Says:

    I remember the Prong show well. Tommy Victor was an ass to his roadie. Some big skinhead maced a girl and ended up macing the entire crowd. The angry crowd kicked his ass and he wouldn’t leave. He ended up with a horrible beating he could have avoided had he just left. Bwahahahaha…

  32. Ifeoma Says:

    Tommy Victor was just having a bad day.
    Don’t be talkin ’bout Prong.
    I mean it man.

  33. Ifeoma Says:

    ONE MORE DAY!
    Unbelievable.
    Even the weather is telling is this is gonna be good.

  34. Matt Kelly Says:

    One time Sprawl was playing at the Axiom, and suddenly it started to smell really, really bad. At first I thought it was the typical Sprawl flatulence–after all, one of our members is now known as Gaseous Clay–but I soon realized that this was cutting through a little more intensely than even something Clay, or even the Rev. Dave Dove, could produce.

    It got worse, and more worse still. That’s not gas, I thought, that shit.

    After a little detective work we realized that GG Allin had played the week before, and the carpeting on the stage had been saturated with his ass juice (remember his turkey baster trick, anyone?).

    As Sprawl started to sweat, GG’s dried up ass juice began to re-liquefy. It was one of many beautiful Axiom experiences. At least no one got hurt.

    See you tonight.

    Matt Kelly, formerly of Sprawl, now of Lick Lick

  35. Bliss Blood Says:

    My craziest moment was when the Pain Teens opened for White Zombie in like, 1988, and I got all excited and started go-go dancing onstage with White Zombie. This stupid skinhead bitch flicked a lit cigarette at me and I flipped her off, causing her to jump onstage to try to hit me!

    Tom Five, White Zombie’s guitarist, grabbed her by her skinhead girl bangs and threw her back off the stage, then her boyfriend came up and started attacking me, I was wearing a rubber dress that looked like a tank top, tucked into a pair of loose pants, so he grabbed the neckline of my dress and pulled up on it, trying to tear it off me, but since it was rubber it just stretched and stretched every time he pulled on it. Was he confused!

    During all this mayhem, I bit him on the arm. Then JR stepped in and ejected him from the club (“We don’t hit girls, dude”). And White Zombie told me to come back onstage and dance some more.

    Years later, Tom Five posted somewhere on the internet that that was his favorite show he played while in White Zombie.

    I love the Axiom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  36. Kelly Watson Says:

    I am so pissed I missed the show. My truck gave me problems halfway there from NOLA and I had to turn back. I would have traded 2 Xmases with my family to be there.
    My fave story is the night I brought in Crowbar and Soilent Green to play. Somehow in Joes rohypnol and wild turkey stupor, he tried to get on stage with Crowbar at the end to sing a song. The roadie tried to stop him and hit him in the face. Joe did not even know it. Billy Lovelace says , That dude just hit you!. Joe tries to get back on stage and knocks over the whole bass cabinet. Damon Gill, Me and Greg wrestled him out to the dumpster where Greg held him down til the show was over. After it was all over, Crowbar drove their RV to the maggot colony parking lot and partied in the hot tub with all of us. Joe snuck up to the roof and decided to throw a cinder block through the roof of the RV. At the last second he decided to throw it onto a moving cop car and smashed the windshield narrowly missing the cop. He took off and no police ever showed up. He denied the story until a few months before his death when we finally got the truth out of him.
    I miss seeing all of ya’ll. I work at Tipitinas club in NOLA now so come see me and say hi if you are in town for mardi gras.

  37. Lila Says:

    Damn good story Kelly.
    Only you and Greg could have ever gotten that out of him.

  38. Shelly Says:

    Two (of many) crazy stories pop into mind. The first story is about that crazy bastard GG Allen. I saw him twice at the Axiom and they were both sick shows. The night that he gave himself a beer emima on stage and then flung his own nasty shit into the faces of a horrified audience was pretty bizarre. He jumped off stage and chased people with handfulls of his shit. Poor Jennifer Sivley was standing behind a tall girl and when the tall girl moved out of the way, GG grabbed Jennifer by the hair and pulled her around for a bit. When she broke free, GG’s shit was all in her hair and on her leather jacket. We went to the bathroom to clean it out and she was PISSED!!! GG also smashed a photographers camera that night and beat his own head with the microphone until he was bleeding from the forehead.

    But my debut of the Axiom is the most memorable. It was New Years Eve (1989 or 1990??). It was also my first time to trip on acid (blue triangle to be exact!). Trower the Magic Dude was amazing in his gold shiny costume and his gold turbin and his scraggly, scratchy voice and his skinny ass old lady assistant. He swallowed a glowing neon sword – telling us of course how dangerous it was and that if anything went wrong he would fry from the inside out (for someone on acid, this was most exiciting). I believe the Bayou Pigs played that night – and most definitely Academy Black played and it was fucking great. At midnight the champagne gushed and balloons fell from the ceiling. Oh, did I mention that I was a junior in high school?? 🙂

    It was the first of many, many, many awesome times at the Axiom. I wish like anything in the world that I could have been there for the reunion and really missed seeing everyone. PS – the Sabbathon was really memorable too!

    • Paul Lovelace Says:

      Paul Lovelace Here….I ran sound at both of the GG allen shows ….he was supposed to “kill” himself and the soundman at the last show….i made it…

  39. Kelly Watson Says:

    OK one more. Shortly after the reopening I was working for Richard Tomcala as was Joe. We had promoted a sold out Fugazi show and were in concradulatory party mode. The staff of 812 productions was in the back dj room and Richard was rolling a joint on an album. All of the sudden the door came flying open and 2 HPD walk in with flashlights blazing. They walk up to Richard and say” JR has worked hard to get his permits straight and this is not the time or place for that. Get rid of it!” Tomcala say “Yes sir” and proceeds to pull his ounce out of his pocket and rake the weed back into his bag right in front of them. Ah good times…..

  40. Randy Haaga Says:

    I’m more than a little later here but maybe someone will still read this.

    I have many special memories from the Axiom. I helped paint the exterior once. I don’t remember getting paid money but I was offered coke or speed. I booked and promoted a few shows and I was there almost every night for a few years.

    One of my favorite memories is getting there around 3 in the afternoon and finding Noska asleep on the pool table. Now that’s punk rock. Nothing fake about it.

    Like many I have a GG Allen story. I saw him the night he flaked and didn’t do anything special. My girlfriend AME got in his face after the show. If you remember AME you know she could really get in someone’s face. She walks up to him and points in his face and shouts loudly, “Your A Fake”. I thought sure that would be the night I get beat up by GG Allen. He just looked at her and smiled. I’ll bet any other night he would have dragged her by her hair. I might be the only one who was happy about the undercover police being there.

    The most dramatic night I spent at the Axiom was a private event, a party that was held for AME’s 21st birthday (funny she’d been drinking there for years). I actually played drums with dead horse that night (Ronny was not there). We must have played some easy stuff (Beer and a bad cover of Birthday by the Beatles). AME knew how to throw a party but eventually someone punched her in the eye. I threw my obligatory punch back at the guy and suddenly it was the wild west, punches being thrown all over the place. Eventually Sean Sitka shot his gun in the air and everybody chilled for a minute. Later that night I broke up a fight between AME’s brother and someone else. The next day AME got her drivers first drivers license and she had a black eye for the picture. A week later and a 12 hour wait at Ben Taub I was admitted for surgery for the broken bone in my hand that I received during one of the fights. I still can’t make a DIO hand sign.

    Yes’ I’d do it all again

    By the way the Axiom Reunion shows were great. I found out I really like Sprawl.

  41. Andy Trevathan Says:

    Ah good times at the Axiom! My crazy-ass story involves a broken leg…mind you, it was broken while jousting on skates with pool cues. JR said he heard it *CRACK* in the adjoining room. I had to be carried out of the place, over JJ’s shoulder…dumped on the front porch (of the then b/f’s house in the Heights) sometime around dawn. Two Words: Fireman’s Carry.

    The other (semi) crazy story (like many) involves the mosh pit…but, hey…I’ll save that for ANOTHER time. Thanks JR and AXIOM for all the good memories.

  42. henry duys Says:

    I remember peglegasus played the night after GG Allen and we had three mikes set up I only sang on a couple of songs but when I stepped up to the mike I saw brown bloody stains and a hair on it, I still sang but made sure not to lick the mike.

  43. carol Says:

    dave burton for certain.

    remember the van crash?

  44. jason Says:

    I can’t remember what show it was but i went up from Lake Jackson in a car full of people. the car was some kinda early 70’s trans am or camero, something heavy with a big engine. we stopped to eat at a Jason’s deli on montrose i think, and to make a long story short i split from the group and later in the parking lot the guy driving this heavy car pulled up next to me to scare me and pick me up to leave. the front left tire caught the inside of my left foot and i fell over with the car stopped on top of my foot. after a few seconds of yelling the guy finally backed off and my checkerd vans was torn open and so was my sock and so was my foot. he dropped me off at a hospital then took everyone else to the show. i didn’t have money for anything so they denied me any help but an orderly snuck me back to a room and scrubed my open wound and bandaged it up. i then got picked back up and taken to the axiom for the show and i sat in the back on those movie seats. when the lights came on at the end of the night there was a huge pool of blood under my foot. later i found out it was crushed with hair line fractures all throughout. everyone in the car had offered for us to leave houston and head back to LJ but i had insisted that we make it to the show. now i can’t even remember who it was we saw but its mostly because i was at the axiom so many times. Hey anyone have video or pictures of the white zombie show back around 88 or 89 i think?

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